As an introverted extrovert, I love socializing—but only with the right people. But sometimes I have to work, network, mingle with others as we all do. And the other morning, I woke up groggy, like I had a hangover. Except I am still doing dry January, so this wasn’t about alcohol. It was an energetic hangover.
Happy energy is light.
Negativity is dead weight.
You know that heavy feeling when someone’s energy sticks to you—at a party, in an open office, or even just walking through a crowd. Sometimes it’s good—high-vibe people leave you feeling floaty, revived, energized. But negativity? That’s dead weight. So their negative mood seeps into your bones, leaving you drained. Those are energy vampires.
And honestly? Their resting bitch face isn’t necessarily about me. Some people project their self-judgment, pessimism, or unsolicited advice onto others. Their bad mood might not be personal, but it feels personal. And if I don’t protect my energy, I absorb it like it’s mine. If you’re empathetic, you end up carrying emotions that aren’t even yours. If only there were a way to wring their energy out.
Even a simple, well-meaning question like, “How are you feeling?” can feel overwhelming for those of us sensitive to energy. Its an innocent, personal question that asks us to tune inward, but that’s hard when other people’s emotions are louder than our own. Constantly being around others can feel like an unspoken responsibility to manage their emotions or fix their problems—neither of which is sustainable unless there's an established closeness.
I know for me, I tend to swing between two extremes: saying yes to everything or ghosting when I get overwhelmed. Neither feels good. Saying no isn’t the hard part—it’s the aftermath. The guilt. The overthinking. The “Should I have just said yes?” spiral. Clearly, I’m still learning to detach and let people have their reactions without making them my responsibility.
We live in a time where vulnerability is currency, where “Tell me everything” is mistaken for deep connection. And as someone who rarely thinks TMI exists, even I feel drained sometimes. Protecting my energy isn’t about cutting people off—it’s about learning to deflect what isn’t mine to hold.
The go-to advice for empathetic people is set boundaries. Define your space, your wants, your needs. Prioritize yourself. Setting boundaries is self-care.
But the hard part? Upholding them. Because people love to push boundaries. It’s not always malicious—sometimes, it’s just human nature. But it’s also a test: How far are you willing to lower your boundaries before they hit doormat level?
So other than setting and upholding boundaries, a lifelong journey where some boundaries are stronger than others. I’m looking for a solution for other ways to protect my energy—without ghosting, without guilt, without shame and without being sucked dry of vital kundalini energy. I did some digging, from psychologists to energy healers, to find ways to cleanse, rejuvenate, and deflect. So I can stay creative and balanced.
Share this with a friend who needs to hear it.
Here are 9 ways to deflect, cleanse, and rejuvenate your energy
Deflect other's energy
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Headphones. A subway commuter’s best friend. Noise-canceling headphones block out conversations and create your own vibe. Even when nothing is playing, they send a clear signal: Do not disturb.
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Visualize a glass wall. Visualize a thick, impenetrable glass wall between you and others, allowing you to see and engage without absorbing their energy. The moment you feel discomfort, mentally raise the shield—letting their emotions, projections, and negativity bounce off while you remain centered. This isn’t about disconnection but about maintaining your own energetic space. The wall helps you observe without absorbing, listen without carrying, and be present without becoming entangled. If their energy starts pressing in, imagine the wall strengthening, keeping you grounded and reminding you—you don’t have to take in what isn’t yours.
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Jaguar meditation. In the spiritual world, jaguars are a symbol of strength, ferocious protection, and knowledge. In ancient Mesoamerican culture, jaguars are depicted as guardians of our spiritual body protecting us from the underworld. Call on the power of the jaguar to protect and patrol. Visualize this gorgeous, powerful creature patrolling your energy field, circling you, protecting you, keeping out negative forces that want to get through.
Cleanse in 10m
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Sound baths. My personal favorite when feeling anxious, exhausted and even to sink into deep work. Listening to sound bowls, chants, or my go-to elevate playlist that helps ground and clear energy blocks to restore some what of a flow.
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Water cleansing. Wash your hands. Take a shower. Go for a swim. Water clears energy. If a midday dip isn’t an option, drink a glass of water mindfully, imagining it flowing through your body and flushing out stuck energy. Water is deeply tied to the sacral chakra—our center of fluidity and creativity. Allowing this energy to flow is vital for kundalini our life force. Sometimes I sleep to listening to this sound bowl, tropical rainstorm and I wake upch feeling cleansed.
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Physically release the emotion. Start by deeply breathing in-and-out quickly. Letting out anything that comes up: yawning, grunting, sighing, screaming, or crying. Sometimes you just need to get their energy out of your body, loudly and unapologetically. Then end by deeply breathing in-and-out slowly.
Rejuvenate after being drained
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Grounding walk in nature. A classic reset. Trees, plants, open space—it’s all grounding. And if no trees are around? Just putting 20 feet of distance between you and the energy vampire helps.
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Cave dwelling. My personal favorite way to balance social time with alone time. A dark room, no plans, just tuning in or turning on a comfort show.
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5 minute hug. They say we need 20 hugs a day to grow, 10 to thrive, and 5 to survive. Reach your daily goal in 5+ minutes. If you have a close giving friend or partner who creates a safe space to feel. Sit yab yum or hug comfortably enough to just let the body go limp in their arms and just be present. I acknowledge that this may be asking a lot out of a friend, but that might be why they are there. To be there for you. Come out and say “I have nothing to give, can I please have a long tight hug.” Truly feels connective and intimate. Let it be, don’t over think it. Receive their good vibes, breathing deeply.
I’ve learned that part of the journey is allowing yourself to be taken care of—to receive as much as you give. Because it’s often those who feel the most who struggle the hardest to set boundaries, absorbing the heaviest emotions and giving more than they ever take. It’s easy to fall into the habit of being the emotional anchor for others, the one who listens, supports, and holds space. But true balance isn’t about constantly being the giver—it’s about letting yourself be held, too.
I got tattoos to remind myself of this: a lightning bolt to symbolize the energy I give—the spark, the charge, the effort I put into others—and a receptive spiral to represent the natural flow of energy, where there is no constant give, no endless taking, just balance. Because without that balance, trust me I’ve learned the hard way, even the biggest fire energy burns out.
At the end of the day, you don’t have to feel their feelings for them. Their pain, their frustration, their heaviness—it’s not your burden to carry. Let them feel their feelings. Let them sit with their own emotions, process their own experiences, and learn their own lessons. Because when you take on what isn’t yours, you not only deplete yourself—you also rob them of the chance to grow.
The question I ask myself: What is this person offering me? Are they bringing anything of value to your space—insight, support, joy, reciprocity? Or are they simply offloading their emotions onto you, leaving you drained? If it’s nothing useful, let it go. Their energy is not a personal attack—it’s simply not yours to carry.
