Balance is bullshit. Or at least, the version of balance that’s been sold to us—the one that tells us to neatly divide work/life, life/play, structure/spontaneity, ambition/rest, as if life is some perfect pie chart we can evenly distribute. But life doesn’t work like that.
Think about the people who achieve great things—whether in business, art, sports, or any field. They don’t live balanced lives. They obsess, they prioritize, and they sacrifice. Some things demand more attention than others, and trying to force balance can actually hold you back.
It’s an illusion, mostly pushed by the wellness community as a response to the hustle culture. But in reality, both extremes keep us spinning in the same cycle—one where we’re constantly adjusting, never fully present.
What if the real goal isn’t balance at all? What if it is being grounded?
The Myth of Multi-Tasking
I used to pride myself on multitasking—writing while binging a TV show, answering emails while eating lunch, stacking activities like a productivity-obsessed Jenga tower. Some tasks pair well together, sure. But when it comes to work that actually matters—deep work, meaningful work—splitting my focus always waters it down.
Because the truth is, deep work requires deep presence. And deep presence requires groundedness.
Grounded people don’t juggle for the sake of juggling. They move with intention, fully immersed in whatever they’re doing. Whether it’s writing, resting, or just sitting in stillness, they’re there.
Balance is cyclical. You focus on one thing, then the next. But groundedness? That’s a state of being. It’s sinking into the work, getting lost in the details, letting creativity take you under. It’s also knowing when to stop, when to be still, when to listen instead of act.
The Discomfort of Presence
I used to think my inability to sit still was just how I was wired. Even while meditating, breathwork, or EFT tapping, my mind still races—anxiety disguised as productivity. I’d tell myself I was “relaxing,” but my foot was shaking, my thoughts spiraling, my nervous system still buzzing with the hum of “What’s next?”
I couldn’t even sit in silence for five minutes without my brain dragging me back to old memories I’d rather forget. That thing I said last week that didn’t land right. Or like that time when I was 12 and willing let people walk all over me. My mind derailing, louder and louder, until I couldn’t even hear the birds outside anymore.
That’s when I realized: avoiding discomfort doesn’t bring you closer to balance, peace, presence, grounded, a greater sense of self. Whatever you want to call it. Ignoring the chaos doesn’t create clarity. Sitting with what’s uncomfortable and facing the shadows instead of running from yourself. You have to intentionally be present to pay attention to know what you want, who you are, what you want to create.
Grounding isn’t just about presence—it’s about self-awareness and acceptance. Being present (sati) doesn’t mean passivity—it means acting with awareness. Awareness is not inaction—awareness is an ability to know what you should act on. It isn’t just internal—it extends into how you speak, act, and engage with the world. Balancing inner stillness with engaged living.
I think the Buddist have it right, true balance isn’t about rigid control over the division of the pie-chart but about flow, equanimity, and harmony with what is present. Where the present moment is the only reality—The past is a memory, and the future is a concept. True peace is found only in the now.
The Grounded Theory
Balance is external. It's reactive. It's a constant negotiation between too much and too little, trying to strike a perfect in-between. But the key isn’t balance—it’s knowing what deserves your focus at any given time.
I was talking with my friend about balance observations in people. We realized that there are those that are a steady hand and those that are a shaky hand. Some people seem steady no matter what, while others feel like they’re always on the edge of falling apart. You can feel the difference when meeting others, right?
After eating edibles, we searched for the right words to describe this quality of being. It’s a feeling of stillness, an inner knowing, self-awareness, and self-belief. But none of these quite captured the immense significance and power of this energy.
Until we landed on—The Grounded Theory.
Those who are ungrounded are a shaky hand. They’re unstable, inconsistent, unaware. Their behavior feels erratic. They are standing on quicksand, clinging to past worries or flailing in fear of the future. Instead of being still, they’re constantly feeling unlucky, not truly knowing what they want out of life, or actually doing it. Lost souls.
At times, I’ve behaved like this. But I’ve found that no matter what balance tactics you try, mindlessly going through the divided time blocks just leads to productivity without a purpose.
Being grounded is an internal stillness, a quiet self-belief. It's not just visible; it's an invisible inner knowing. Grounded people handle disruptions calmly because they know how to ride the waves, not avoid the storm. They don’t need validation from others. They know their worth, set their own standards, and aren't easily shaken by opinions. They walk into a room without needing to prove themselves because they already know they belong.
The Real Goal Is to Be Grounded, Not Balanced
Being grounded in your priorities isn't about selfishness or self-sacrifice. It's about knowing what's right for you and acting on it. It's standing firm in your beliefs while staying open to growth. It’s not arrogance—it's being rooted despite the chaos around you. It’s proactive leadership, not reactive management. A grounded person doesn’t crumble under criticism. They’re confident because of experience, self-awareness, and resilience. They navigate life with quiet confidence, knowing they can handle whatever comes their way.
Monks are a steady hand. They have this stillness and level-headedness that is disarming to feel because you instantly feel like your feet are finally on the ground. Rooted. I’m not saying we all need to become monks to achieve balance. But most monks avoid the hustle culture, they’ve intentionally chosen not play a part in those extremes. I feel like we can certainly leverage this school of thought in the hustle culture.
Their presence makes space for yours, lets you actually sit with your feelings instead of reacting to them. They diffuse tension with patience, not more fire. My hard-working, balanced friend is able to balance work at the Worldbank as a boss, working out everyday while being grounded in her sense of self. Knowing that she is capable of any hard endeavor like learning Excel. When I come to her, she puts things in order, lays out the first step, and stays quiet so you can find your own way. She doesn’t add to the storm—she grounds you through it.
Being grounded is about knowing your value and standing firm. It’s not about avoiding hustle, but choosing where to invest your energy and handling whatever comes your way. The goal isn’t balance. It’s being so rooted in yourself that no external force can shake you.
Few Ways I’m Trying To Be More Grounded
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Single-tasking—giving full attention to whatever’s in front of you.
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Stillness without expectation—not meditating to be productive, but just to be.
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Checking in before acting—asking myself, Do I actually want this? Do I just feel like I should?
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Letting discomfort exist—not numbing it, not running from it, just letting it be.
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10m daily meditation—habit stacking with doing my tea and tarot.
